Turning Off the Crystal Ball

Every parent worries about their children, that is not specific to special needs parents.  What is different is the type of worries.  My older son, TJ is scared of all flying insects—and I mean really scared.  He has run into busy streets to get away from a moth or a butterfly.  So, when he decided he wanted to go on his 5th grade science camp trip, well, worried didn’t even cover what I was feeling,  I envisioned him running off the mountain trail because a mosquito or wasp flew by.

On top of this, he had never even been camping (none of us like the outdoors enough) and he had never been away from home over night.  And, trust me, we did everything we could to talk him out of this, but he was determined that he wanted to do this.  So, we did what we knew we had to do—we completely supported his decision.  Ugh!

We had to turn off the crystal ball and stop looking at the worst possible outcomes.  Over the past few months, we taught him how to control the temperature of his own showers, since he would have to do this at camp.  We arranged for a tour of the camp about a month ago, so that he was “front loaded” (knew what to expect).  We had him help in every stage of the packing—from labeling to sitting on the bag and zipping it up.  By Tuesday, he was as ready as he was going to be.

But even though we turned off the crystal ball, we still adapted things to his abilities.  The camp suggested that students pack a list of the things they brought in their luggage.  This sounds like a good idea and we were all for it—until I thought about TJ.  He would probably get so worried about making sure everything was on the list, that he would empty his dirty laundry bag out and count every sock.  Ick!  But I didn’t want to put him in a box, so I asked him if he wanted a list in there or if it would be too overwhelming.  And guess what?  He said it would be too much for him!  He gets his limitations and only pushes himself when he knows he is ready.  We must have done something right!

So, now TJ is at science camp and definitely having a better time than we are.  The house feels weird without his zany energy.  His room is so quiet and there are no crazy Garfield jokes at dinner.  We try to focus on TL, giving him some “only child” time, but it is just not the same.  TL is also having a hard time adjusting and doesn’t understand why his brother doesn’t come out of his room when he calls for him.  TJ comes home on Friday, which is also our wedding anniversary.  It will be a joyous day filled with love and appreciation for our little family.  That is, until things return to normal and the boys butt heads again!