Tuesday, January 11, 2011

The Road

You ever get really difficult directions to a destination?  You probably have felt nervous that you would never get there, anxious that you made a wrong turn, frustrated that it is taking so long, and angry that it is so hard to find.  That is how I feel with my oldest son. He is 10-years old and is a high-functioning autistic. 

Now, how about the second time you take that difficult route?  You probably dread navigating that confusing path, frustrated that you have to go through it all again, and angry that there was not a simpler way.  But, you probably also feel hopeful because you know you will get there eventually.  That is how I feel with my other son.  He is 2-years old and was just diagnosed as a low-functioning autistic.

The road of autism is a long and frustrating one.  With my 10-year old, we are embarking on middle school next year.  We are desperately searching for the school where his social inadequacies will not be so obvious.  With our 2-year old, we are going through California’s Early Start program and getting him speech and other therapies.

I would be lying if I didn’t admit that this road trip gives me car sickness; sometimes I just want to jump out of the vehicle and keep on running.  Yet, I’ve come to appreciate the unexpected turns and surprising twists.  I don’t even know what my life would look like without autism.  It has shaped so much of who I am as an adult and a mother.  It has challenged me in ways I didn’t even know were possible.  It is a road I don’t regret traveling down.