Being spontaneous with two boys on the spectrum is very hard. They need to be front-loaded (told what’s coming before it happens). They need schedules, calendars (I can’t count how many trees have been killed for the sake of custom calendars in my house), and routines.
But we threw caution to the wind Sunday night. It was a hot day and our house was not cooling down much—it was looking to be a sweaty summer night. It had already been a difficult day, starting off with us leaving church early because TL couldn’t handle the special all-church service we went to (with no childcare—yikes!). Everyone was cranky and everyone wanted to get out of the oven we called home.
So, at 9 that night, we booked a motel online in Watsonville, a coastal/farm town about an hour away. We packed up the bare essentials and took off driving. Our oldest, TJ, was bouncing-off-the-walls excited. He always sees his favorite characters on TV go on trips and had grand ideas of what the next 24 hours would be like.
TL, though, was definitely thrown. He didn’t know what was going on and had never spent a night away from home. He usually loves the drive through the Santa Cruz Mountains, but the nighttime view can be a little spooky. He told us he was scared (this was a BIG thing for him to recognize emotions) and my husband held his hand until he felt better.
We got to the motel…and we soon wished we had done a little more online research. It was a mom-and-pop place that was a bit rundown. We didn’t feel completely comfortable, but it was free of bugs and generally clean, so we stayed the night.
Then came the night of regret! TL did not crash out until midnight (really wish he would have fallen asleep in the car) and TJ was tossing and turning until 3am. I had insomnia (I am never good at sleeping in new places) and didn’t knock out until after TJ. The whole time I wondered if we did the right thing. I kept waking up my husband (he could sleep ANYWHERE) and venting. He shared my concerns.
Following this “night of regret,” was the morning of possibilities!!! TL woke up at 7:30 and was snuggled up next to his brother. He crawled into our bed and slept for another hour or so. We had a little of the complimentary “breakfast” the motel offered and then ate a complete meal at McDonald’s.
Then, we planned out what we were going to do and promptly threw it all out. We wanted spontaneity and we were determined to get it. We decided to go up Highway 1 and hit some of the coastal towns. We saw a lot of Independence Day Parades in these small towns, but decided not to stop for them.
Instead, we headed for Sea Cliff Beach. We walked along the beach, checked out the cliffs, and waded in the water. My husband held TL and let him touch the water. He loved it so much that as we were leaving the beach, he kept asking for “more touch.” Then, we got to check out their awesome gift shop that even has an observation pool filled with sea creatures.
Hungry, we began to search out lunch. We stopped in different towns that we had always wondered about when we drove by, finally deciding on Scotts Valley. We ate at a great little diner and enjoyed the cool breeze on the patio.
It was time to head back home. The boys might have had a rough night, but their day was fantastic. They loved every minute of the adventure and were completely exhausted when we got home—we all needed naps.
What did we learn? Well, spontaneity REALLY is hard with two autistic kids…but not impossible. It required a lot of patience and understanding, but I wouldn’t trade our overnight vacation for anything. Camping, Disney Land, and time-shares may not be in our future right now, but they are not out of the picture forever. We just have to dare to be spontaneous every now and then!
