One Obsession for Another

Most kids have something they really like and could talk about for hours.  For me, it was Barbies.  I loved them and could dress them up all day…but there were other things I liked to do too (Chinese jump rope, coloring, writing, etc).  Children with autism take hobbies to a whole new level. 

TJ, my oldest, tends to have very intense interests (or obsessions!).  There is a misconception that autistic people are static, never changing, but the fact is their interests evolve over time like you and I. 

He has been obsessed with Hot Wheels, Transformers, Bionicles, Transformers, Legos, Transformers, Garfield, Transformers (keeps coming back to this!), and, now, ice hockey. My husband and I are San Jose Sharks fans and have watched playoff games before.  We never really watched the regular season—until now. 

TJ has become very “fanatical” (self-description from TJ) about the Sharks.  I took him to the Sharks store and he was in 7^th heaven.  He wanted everything!  He has started collecting NHL cards…they have those?  He wants to see the league stats after every game.  He dutifully wears his Marleau shirt every game day.  He talked the ear off one of the counselors at a special need camp he attended because she brought up the Sharks.  He absolutely loves the Sharks! 

But so do a lot of other boys his age.  What makes it different?  The intensity.  The lack of social appropriateness.  We could be having a conversation in the car on a totally different topic and he will all of sudden spew out a stat or game highlight. 

So what to do you do with that?  Do you fight the obsessions?  Do you cave?  Neither.  There is a balance somewhere in there.  We use his interests as a way to spend time with him.  It is a way to bond and share a common interest.  But we also set limits.  If he wants a new Sharks jersey, he can buy it with his saved up allowance money.  No staying up super late for games.  We will only allow the topic to be on hockey for so long before we change it. 

I know it will not be long before he changes to something else to fill his time—probably Transformers again.  But for now, I enjoy cheering on goals with my son and feeling more connected to him that I have in years.

The Latest Adventures in Autismland

It has been an awfully long time since my last posting and there are many reason for that—too numerous for one posting.  Here is a summary of what has gone down.

• TL was assessed by the school district and we had an IEP.  We were given the assessment report ahead of time, which clearly stated he was eligible under autism and speech.  The same report was handed out at the meeting.  They only offered him pragmatic speech (25 minutes/2 times a week).  We agreed with the caveat that if it didn’t work out we would call another meeting.  We signed and got a copy of the IEP.  Conveniently, we found that the final IEP did NOT have the autism eligibility.  We addressed this in writing (it forces the district to put a response in writing).  They denied this ever happened.  Then, in an about face, they changed his eligibility.  He is now at a preschool for mild-to-moderate autism 5 days a week for 3 hours a day.  It is helping him so much!  He also was found eligible for continued services by the regional center.  This means we get respite and a behaviorist that comes to our house to consult.
• TJ was assessed by the school district and found ineligible for services once again. This time, we did not sign the IEP in agreement and we tape recorded the meeting.  I am pursuing the fact that his scores indicate a learning disability in math. (Hey, eligibility is eligibility and truth be told he has always struggled in math).  They have never scheduled a follow up meeting, so we are currently addressing that.
•  I have been diagnosed with depression.  This is a real private issue and I debated a lot about including it here.  The fact is there are many parents of special needs children that suffer from depression. The article, “Some Moms of Autistic Kids Prone to Depression,” really rang true for me.  I am getting treatment and feel better every day.  I am learning to lean on God more and have joined an awesome Bible Study group.  The fact that I can write this blog post is HUGE.

Look for a new post in the next few days about my latest journeys with the boys!