Recognizing Your Limits

Well, it is been awhile since I penned a blog, but I have good reason—I had our little girl, SG!  She is 3 weeks old tomorrow and a true little beauty.  She was born cesarean and that has been a true test for me.  I have had to recognize my limits and—shudder—give control to others.  It has been a growing experience for our whole family.

Yet, it is not the only way I have had to recognize my limits.  Something happened today to take me back to a place I was in 7 ½ years ago.  At that time, TJ was still an only child and just started his mainstream kindergarten.  We wanted it to work so badly—and it might have if it wasn’t for one rotten teacher. 

Ms. S was a kindergarten teacher with a chip on her shoulder.  She complained as much as she could to parents about the lack of district funding for school supplies and lacked any kind of professional demeanor.

Now, TJ was not a difficult child, but he needed guidance in the classroom.  She hated that.  She stated to me (in front of him!!!) that if he was autistic he belonged in an autistic classroom.  She stated that he was horrible at cutting, drawing, tracing, etc…all in front of him.  When I attempted to set up a meeting with the principal about her, she showed up as well.  They decided that TJ’s issues were behavioral and wanted to set up a behavioral plan.  They would not agree to change his teacher.  They would not budge.

The results from this:  TJ suffered from dangerously low self-esteem for years (to the point of self-injury) and would often repeat some of the things she had said about him.  We pulled TJ out of school the day of the meeting.  I homeschooled him for a few weeks and then we enrolled him in a private school for the remainder of the year (another horror story, but I digress). 

Anyhow, after submitting a complaint to the district, I tried to put it in my past and work on making the present and future better for TJ.  I never saw her again…but that almost changed today!  During a family jaunt to Target, my husband turned to me and said, “Ms. S was here.”  What? Where? Let me at her!

Apparently, she had come near us as we were perusing the salads.  She probably vaguely recognized us and was hoping to surprise a former student.  Suddenly, she turned tail and disappeared; probably remembering exactly who we were and why she shouldn’t say hi.

God knew my limitations.  That is why my husband saw her and not me.  That is why my husband had the wisdom to alert me after she left.  I really don’t know what I would have done if I saw her.  I can imagine several scenarios that would have ended with me in handcuffs.   Or maybe I would have showed my wonderful son off to her, pointing out that this “horrible cutter” was a gifted student, kind-hearted son, and all-around wonderful person. 

But I guess her running away says it all:  she screwed up.  She bullied a student and two parents.  She made a student feel worthless.  She has to live with that.

As for me?  I will tuck this away in the past again and know that God knows my limitations and will not put me in a situation I cannot handle.